Dear C.S. Lewis,
Your book, The Magician’s Nephew, has been engaging and altogether wonderful the whole way through! I really like the way you write, as it feels really personal, like you are having a conversation with me. An example of this is when you put your own thoughts into the story, which makes you a very captivating narrator. Your writing is very descriptive and fast moving, compelling me to read as long as I can. I really liked your description of Charn; it was very realistic. How did you come up with all of the names for the different worlds, the Queen, etc.? They really add to the writing and make it feel mysterious. One idea you may consider is adding and describing the emotions of the characters more deeply. You do very well at this already, but I love to really feel along with the characters in your stories to the best of my abilities. The attic connector of all the houses was very creative! Did you live in joined houses yourself that had one as well? Did you ever discover one yourself? It was very well described. Your writing draws the reader in, C.S. Lewis.
Keep up the wonderful work.
Sincerely,
A Reader
Friday, March 12, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
The poem shown below was written by me in class. I was simply looking around for an idea-sparker, when I realized one thing that all things I saw possessed-(you guessed it)-colour! It was the first inspiration of mine to begin writing a longer short-story, which I'm working on now. You don't have to respond on this writing, but try and put yourself in the place of the person in the poem and see what the colours are representing. :)
Colours
Deep, warm, intricate, dazzling,
Colours are everywhere
How could we imagine life without colour?!
They’re everywhere we look, really,
From the plants of the ground, to clothing, houses, even the sky
There are infinite colour shades, fanned out for us to choose from
‘Red’ isn’t just ‘red,’
Its cranberry red, fire-engine red, sunset red,
Its baby blue, waterfall blue, butterfly blue, navy blue
She goes to the hardware store and stares at the hundreds of colour panels,
looking at each unique and creative name
She longs to take home one of each,
But decide it would be impossible
So she becomes destined but content to simply gaze at them,
Filling her mind to the brim with colours,
Until colours start to run over and trickle down
Her forehead,
Then her chin,
Until her entire beings is simply dripping with joy
She runs outside and wherever her smile shines,
There is colour
Wherever her music is sung,
There is colour
The colours are sliding down to her toes,
Swimming and mixing together,
Swirling and making new and undiscovered colours
She brushes past others and the colours travel on,
From person to person,
Until the whole world is lit up by colours
Colours
Deep, warm, intricate, dazzling,
Colours are everywhere
How could we imagine life without colour?!
They’re everywhere we look, really,
From the plants of the ground, to clothing, houses, even the sky
There are infinite colour shades, fanned out for us to choose from
‘Red’ isn’t just ‘red,’
Its cranberry red, fire-engine red, sunset red,
Its baby blue, waterfall blue, butterfly blue, navy blue
She goes to the hardware store and stares at the hundreds of colour panels,
looking at each unique and creative name
She longs to take home one of each,
But decide it would be impossible
So she becomes destined but content to simply gaze at them,
Filling her mind to the brim with colours,
Until colours start to run over and trickle down
Her forehead,
Then her chin,
Until her entire beings is simply dripping with joy
She runs outside and wherever her smile shines,
There is colour
Wherever her music is sung,
There is colour
The colours are sliding down to her toes,
Swimming and mixing together,
Swirling and making new and undiscovered colours
She brushes past others and the colours travel on,
From person to person,
Until the whole world is lit up by colours
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Nile Rv. was an amazing resource for the Egyptians, but not just for water and agricultural reasons. The Nile Rv. also supposedly helped the Egyptians develop their beleifs of life after death. They related the 'death' of the plants after harvest to the death of people, and the 'new life' of plants after the Nile's floods to the rebirth (or afterlife) that the Egyptians believed in. They also related the setting and rising of the sun to this as well. (I thought that was pretty cool.)
Many of you may already have known this, but before I did my poster I didn't know that the Nile was actually 2 rivers! :) The 'main' Nile is made up of the White and Blue Niles, connecting in Ethiopia, flowing North to the Mediterranean Sea.
Many famous people call Egypt 'the gift of the Nile,' because without a steady source of water people probably would not have settled in that area at all! Also, even before people settled in Egypt, there were lots of animals just roaming around. Once they, (the animals), started moving over to the land by the Nile River, people followed them.
Many of you may already have known this, but before I did my poster I didn't know that the Nile was actually 2 rivers! :) The 'main' Nile is made up of the White and Blue Niles, connecting in Ethiopia, flowing North to the Mediterranean Sea.
Many famous people call Egypt 'the gift of the Nile,' because without a steady source of water people probably would not have settled in that area at all! Also, even before people settled in Egypt, there were lots of animals just roaming around. Once they, (the animals), started moving over to the land by the Nile River, people followed them.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Bethany's short story: To the Moon
I chose this as my proud piece becuase I thought I really captured the emotions of the characters in my story, and I worked hard on developing the plot line and putting time into it. I hope you enjoy reading it!!! :)--Bethany
Stars- great, giant balls of fire. Could anything be more incredible? Millions of twinkling, sparkly stars were up there, waiting for me. They were my very own collection of ‘princess diamonds,’ or so I called them when I was 5. They’re all so beautiful, my Daddy would say. When looking at stars, he was just as amazed as I was. You are more beautiful than all of them, he would say to me, smiling. Tweaking my nose, my green eyes would grin back up at him. My Daddy was my hero.
Back when I was a little girl, Daddy used to take me on camping trips for my birthday. We would bring our sleeping bags, my teddy bear named Starry, and our brimming backpacks to the field across from our big yard. We would always sleep under the stars without a tent, which caused for some anxiety from Mom! So what if we could still see the house? My Dad was all mine for an evening, including the chocolate bars we’d sneak out of the pantry, and the full iced tea jug that would send us hopping back to the house at 2 am for a bathroom run. What more could a little girl want? Little did I know that what he would tell me on one of those ‘camping trips’ would unexpectedly change my life forever.
“Do you see that big white circle in the sky, right over there?” Daddy asked me, pointing, as I sat on his lap. I, feeling quite proud of myself for knowing the answer, replied,
“Of course Daddy; it’s the moon!”
“I’m going to go there Jill,” Dad said, looking down at me. That seemed a bit farfetched! I knew he was a scientist and astronaut, but the moon? I had only ever lived on this farm in rural Manitoba, with its big trees, flat, glowing wheat fields, and red combines. Going to the moon seemed impossible.
“How are you going to get there?” I asked him, still a bit skeptical.
“I’m going to go in a big rocket, and fly around and around,” and with that, he picked me up and twirled me around and around, rising and falling, my arms spread, shrieks of laughter echoing over the still prairies.
I settled back into his lap, a smile still on my face, but that slowly turned into a furrowed brow and slight frown.
“I want to come too!” I demanded, knowing what the obvious answer would be. Daddy looked away, unsure of how to handle my difficult request.
“Jillian, you can’t come with me, but I can take something up there for you; if you’d like.”
I seemed satisfied, and then leaned close to my teddy. Looking up after a moment, I replied,
“Starry says she wants to go with you Dad.”
He nodded and answered,
“I think that’s manageable. Starry it is!”
With that we said our prayers, snuggled into our cozy sleeping bags, and whispered ‘I love you!’ Daddy was once again my hero, and we fell asleep smiling up at the stars.
Daddy started his “moon classes” when school started in September. He would leave at 6 in the morning, but would always be home for supper. Baby Anna, Peter, and I, would wait at the big window in the front of our house, eager to see our blue Jeep pull into the long driveway. On nice days, (most days), we would take our bikes to the end of the gravel lane; wobbly me on my 2-wheeler, and Peter, being the oldest, with Anna in the wagon pulled behind his bike with the jump rope. Whooping and hollering when Dad came into view, Mom would know to hurry outside from making supper and join our side-of-the-road parade. We would race to get our spelling and reading done right after school so we could spend time altogether as a family; sometimes going on a walk, playing football, (Dad vs. all), or helping Mom make cookies. Some of these things would end up with Peter and me fighting, as he was the oldest and would never let me forget it! We were still buds though, and would enjoy chasing cows in the fields after supper, laughing until our sides hurt. To me, other than Peter sometimes, I had a perfect family. That would change all too soon.
Soon the big take-off day arrived. We knew that Day would be gone for 6 months, and were all a bit teary when we remembered, even Peter. I had just had my 8th birthday party a few days ago, and was glad that Dad could make it. I told Mom to make a star-shaped birthday cake, just for him! I think he liked it.
We had to go to a special ceremony for the astronauts and their families. I wore the new red dress I got, and was very lady-like the whole time. One by one, after a very long speech, each astronaut was called up to the front of the hall. They were mostly men, but by the end 2 women had been called up as well. Finally, “Don Fairman” was announced. Dad adjusted his checkered tie, and walked proudly to the front. Mom’s eyes were brimming with happy tears as Anna sat on her lap, sleeping. The speaker then turned to us.
“Here folks are your astronauts of 1999!”
Everyone rose to their feet and started clapping madly, and Peter and I cheered and shouted. From on stage, Dad winked at us, and took a little bow. Mom laughed, and we clapped even louder. The astronauts would leave in 12 days, and were supposed to get well rested for then.
After the presentation they each received a bronze plaque, and then we were all ushered to another room: the banquet hall. Mom and Dad were served chicken in a strange yellow sauce, with fish, potatoes, and steamed broccoli. I’m glad us kids got pizza and lemonade! We sat at tables near the dessert bar, sneaking dainties and cookies during the meal. We only got sternly looked upon twice! There were 5 other ‘astronaut kids,’ and we were all fast friends by the end of the hour. At about 2:00 everyone finally started heading home. Everyone was full and content, but still didn’t want Dad to leave.
The days ticked by, minute after minute, each second bringing us closer to take-off day. It was exciting yet terrible; you could feel it in the air. Mom had never been keen on men flying around the galaxies in a metal tube, or so she put it. Dad had obviously convinced her that it was safe before they were married, but she was still uneasy. So was I.
The day before they left came all too soon. I crawled into my quilted bed uneasy; even hugging all my stuffed animals at once didn’t help as it usually did. Turning off my Disney Princess lamp, I lay awake, staring up at my glow-in-the-dark stars taped to the ceiling. I tossed and turned, but still couldn’t close my eyes for long. It had been 2 hours since I’d turned off the light, and I was just about ready to burst! Slipping out of bed and into my slippers, I tiptoed across the dark hallway to Mom and Dad’s room. Dad would leave for the airport in the night, and I didn’t want to miss him. There I found Dad sitting on his window seat, looking out at the stars through an open window. I quietly joined him, and he put his arm around me as the gentle night breeze filled the quiet room. After a moment, he spoke.
“Can I tell you a secret Jill?” he asked me.
“Sure,” I eagerly replied.
“I’m scared,” he whispered, still staring out the window, tears glistening in his eyes. I got up on my knees and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. He sang softly to me until I fell asleep in his arms, and then carried me back to my bed. I was just as scared as he was.
The next day happened so fast. We all left early in the morning for the take-off pad by Toronto where Dad’s rocket would be launched. We drove to the airport without Dad, as he had taken a flight in the night to help the crew pack up, receive instructions, and be ready. I woke up only once on our flight, but when I woke up for good, we were in the big city. We got on long white buses, and as we drove closer and closer to the rocket I got more and more amazed, tense, and worried. The spaceship stretched high into the sky , as tall as the biggest building in Winnipeg! It really was big! Now I wasn’t so sure I wanted my Dad flying through space in this thing. News reporters and photographers were there, recording, snapping pictures, and filming the entire event. Dad was only allowed to stay with the other astronauts, to make sure his suit and everything else stayed flawless and in tip-top shape. Even though he couldn’t stand with us, we’d often find him staring or winking at us during the speech. Everyone waited in still anxiety for the big moment to happen. Once the speech was finished, each astronaut got their picture taken as they waved to everyone and entered the spaceship. When it was Dad’s turn, he waved Starry the teddy bear high in the air so everyone could see, and we clapped hysterically! He mouthed ‘I love you’ to us, then disappeared up the steps and into the shuttle of wonder, possibility, and the unknown.
Soon after that, we were cleared away from the pad and were grouped together a safe distance away from the shuttle. The prairie seemed calm; unaware of what would soon happen. The big clock in front of us counted down the seconds until take-off. My heart beat in time with the numbers flickering across the screen. I never took my eyes off the clock. Minutes ticked by, from 60, to 30, then 1. A low rumble seemed to groan from the centre of the Earth far away. This was it! The noise grew louder and more intense, like a wave crashing over cracked dry land. 5- The ground shook. 4- The reporters stood, ready. 3- My heart raced. 2-Time stood still. 1-To the moon. A huge fiery force burst from beneath the rocket like a bomb, pushing Dad closer to his destination. It spread out in an orange, hot cloud, billowing into the sky. The noise was like thunder, though only for a moment. The ship appeared to be moving slowly, but in reality it was racing at an incredible speed through the atmosphere. Never before had I witnessed anything like it; a feat defying all laws of gravity and common sense. My Dad was crazy, and I loved it! Soon the spaceship was too small to see, but we stayed; everyone stayed. It was the biggest thing we’d ever experienced, and we didn’t want to walk away from it sooner than we had to.
We were all ushered off to the buses that would take us to the hotel. Soon after, I, and I think a lot of other people, were still in a daze. Even the reporters, who had witnessed every scary and amazing event in the news could just stare in wonder. In the blink of an eye, the prairies were still once again, and we drove away looking back, Mom’s comforting hand squeezed tightly around mine.
The first few weeks after Dad’s spaceship was launched went by in a blur. The evenings were quieter, and there was one less place setting at the table, which was usually put on anyways because of habit. After a while, though, we got back into the swing of things.
Once or twice a week Daddy e-mailed us from outer space! We would read his letters out loud, and then would tell Mom what to write back. Occasionally, he would even send us a staticy phone call! It was good to hear his voice. Those e-mails and calls were the highlights of my week. Peter and I made a paper chain out of construction paper, counting down the weeks until Dad would come home. Sometimes when Mom was having a sad day, I would keep her company by bringing her all my pillows and stuffed animals to her bed and having a sleepover with her. Mom got used to his absence after a while, but was ever counting the days ‘til his return. I think it was the hardest on her than anyone else.
Dad’s e-mails became very consistent, after school on Tuesdays and Fridays. Peter and I would jump off the bus and clamber into the house, not stopping until we got to the computer in the kitchen. We would always beat Mom, as she had to pick up Anna from daycare and would only be home a couple minutes after us. But one Tuesday, when we came running inside, Mom was already there, tears streaked down her cheeks. It looked like she had been crying for hours. When she saw us she stood up quickly and pulled us close to her, and didn’t let go for a very long time. Peter and I looked at each other, and both had confused expressions on our faces. Mom had never acted this way before. She then sat down on the wooden chair and looked up at us, wringing out her hands.
“Dad won’t be coming home,” she whispered, choking back tears.
“He’s only coming back in 3 months Mom. You know that,” Peter said. Gathering up her courage, Mom quietly explained,
“He won’t be coming back at all. Their spaceship was damaged during the take-off, so they can’t get back into the atmosphere because it’s too hot. Dad’s OK for now, but he won’t make it back to Earth.”
Mom paused for a breath and to blow her nose on a ragged tissue.
“He’s going to call us tonight. That’s it.”
Everyone stood, numb, still. How could you even process something like that? I was 8, Peter 10, and Anna was 4. All I knew was, I had just lost my hero.
Mom told us to grab some snack, and that we’d be ordering take-out tonight. Peter ran to his room and slammed the door-hard. Anna hadn’t been in the kitchen for our conversation, but Mom was taking her on her lap and quietly explaining that Daddy would never tuck her in again. I stared at the computer screen, and read the horrible e-mail.
Dear Carolyne,
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had tell anyone, especially you. I guess I can’t beat around the bush with this sort of thing, so I’ll get right to the point. I won’t be coming home. Tears are drifting off my cheeks as I write it, but it’s true. The exterior of the ship cracked slightly as we took off, but that’s just enough to make entering out atmosphere unsafe and impossible. No matter what we do, the ship will incinerate when we enter it. I guess you were right about space ships; you’re always right! :) I love you Carolyne, beyond what you could ever imagine. I’ll call you tonight at 8:00 pm for our final goodbyes. Can I talk to the kids as well? They don’t deserve this, and neither do you. You are all so precious to me. We found out about a week ago,(about the ship), 2 days before we landed on the moon. The moon was great! You’d have loved it. They were examining the exterior when they discovered it. Covering or fixing it won’t make any different. But after lots of anger and prayer, I’ve began to accept it. I hope that in time, you will too.
I’m so sorry.
Your love, Don
By now tears were streaming down my hot, angry face.
This can’t be happening, I thought. It’s all a lie. I won’t believe this, I can’t! My Daddy has to come home! My mind screamed, not willing to accept what I’d just heard and read. I ran blindly upstairs to Mom and Dad’s room, and flung myself down on their bed. There I sobbed until Mom came and gently held me, where we cried together for some time until we calmed down to the point of just sniffles. Mom wiped my wet cheeks with her hands, and, summing up all the strength she could muster, said,
“Jill, we’re going to get through this,” although I could tell even that was a struggle. After giving me a silent squeeze, she left to order supper. I walked down the hall slowly, still in miserable realization that this wasn’t a joke. Peter came out of his room as I walked past. You could see he had been crying, but showed no resemblance on his expressionless face. This was actually happening to me.
After a quiet super of pizza and pop, we sat around the phone, waiting for Dad’s last call. At precisely 8 o’clock the phone rang. Mom picked it up. Husband and wife talked for almost 20 minutes, Mom crying off and on. However, when she passed the phone to Anna there was a look of peace on her reassuring face. Anna timidly said “Hi Daddy,” sensing that this was an important phone call. She giggled a couple of times, talking occasionally. Ending with “Bye Daddy, I love you,” she gave the phone to Peter. Dad talked to him about taking care of all of us, obeying Mom, and about life and growing up in general. This was the last heart to heart talk he would ever have with us. Peter smiled when the conversation was finished, then handed the phone to me. I was shaking.
“Hi Jill,” he said to me shyly.
“Hi Dad,” I said quietly.
“Jillian, I’m so sorry. I was looking forward to our next camping trip.”
“Me too.”
“I love you Jill, more than you know. I’m a middle child too, so I know how you feel sometimes. Don’t let Peter boss you around. Oh! And when you eat oatmeal raisin cookies, sneak an extra for me!”
I giggled, and he continued.
“I want you to follow your dreams Princess, and to dream big too! Talk to Jesus, and let him be your best friend! Keep looking at the stars; you can use my window seat if you’d like.”
“I will.”
“Obey Mom, and help look after Anna, and Peter too! Keep getting good grade in school, sweetie, so you can have lots of options when you grow up, but don’t forget to be a kid! You’re beautiful, and I love you!”
“Why can’t you come home, Daddy? I need you to come home,” I cried.
“I’m so sorry Jill! I would give anything to get back to you, you’ve got to believe that,” he said.
“You’re my hero Daddy,” I whispered. I heard him choke back a sob.
“You’re mine too, cutie.”
“I love you Dad.”
“I love you Jill.”
“Goodbye,” we said in unison.
The crackly line went dead, and Mom took the phone.
“You’d better get some rest, hon,” she said, wrapping me up in a big hug. I trudged upstairs to my room and climbed into bed without brushing my teeth or changing into my pajamas. I was exhausted, and right now just needed to sleep.
I woke up the next morning with tears on my cheeks. My clock said 10:36 am, and it was a Wednesday! I jumped out of bed and found Mom making eggs downstairs in the kitchen. It looked like she hadn’t gotten much sleep, but she still greeted me as cheerily as she could, asking me how I was. I said I was fine, even though that was an obvious lie. Peter and Anna came down a few minutes later, and we all ate our scrambled eggs, fruit, and yogurt in silence. I was glad we didn’t have to go to school today.
The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. We had mac ‘n cheese for lunch, watched T.V., and played halfheartedly. It was as if we were all in a trance. By 5:30 Mom started making supper as usual. Peter and Anna were watching Veggie Tales in the other room. Without thinking I tugged on my boots and ran outside, sprinted madly to the end of the driveway as it was almost 5:45. The big oak trees stood firmly on either side of the driveway. Nothing had changed except the one vital part of the picture. I skidded to a stop in the middle of the road and waited. I waited for Daddy to come home. I waited for my questions to be answered. I waited for the noise that would jar me out of this horrible dream. I waited silently, listening for the hum of our blue Jeep and Dad’s laughter, but it never came. So I cried. I kicked the hard gravel and threw the snow. There I stood until Mom came with a blanket and brought me inside. I wouldn’t be going to school tomorrow.
That night I sat on Dad’s window seat, gazing out at a brilliant sunset that melted away to reveal hundreds of pin pricks in the canvas of a sky. Though dark, the moon’s sliver of light glistened off of the snow. I had Dad’s favorite sweater wrapped around me, with his smell lingering around me in a calming familiarity. I knew that one day I would become an astronaut.
30 Years Later
“Miss Jillian Fairman, you may depart.” The words echoed in my space suit, bouncing off the sides of my helmet. This was it! I had been waiting for this moment since I was 8. I was about to experience thee wonder and mystery that not many people got to see. I had seen God’s great and amazing Earth and galaxies all at once. I was an astronaut. I took a deep breath and stepped off the ship. I felt as light as a feather as my white space boots touched down on the moon. Bouncing around on the uneven surface with a grin on my face, I heard a voice come through my headset again.
“How does it feel?”
“Amazing!” I answered.
“There’s a group of all the flags from previous ships about 100meters to your right. You can go look at them.”
Interested, I hopped along to the indicated spot. Earth sat still in the distance, and stars were closer than they’d ever been. Each flag was that of the country it had been launched from, and signed were the date and the ship’s name. I looked for ‘1999-Crater; Daddy’s ship. I was reading some names and looking at dates when something caught my eye. There was a teddy bear tied to the bottom of a flagpole?! Bending over, I gasped. It was light blue with tiny white stars covering her fur. Starry! I untied her as best I could with my bulky gloves, and gently picked her up. There was a slit cut into her back, with a folded piece of paper nestled in her cotton stuffing. I pulled it out and read the hand written letter.
Dear Jill,
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I could feel it in my bones that you’d become an astronaut! Sorry I couldn’t come home; I would’ve loved to be at your prom, walked you down the aisle, and hold my first grandchild. I love you Jill! Thank you for showing me how to be a true hero. We’ll meet again soon, right here in the sky. I love you my darling!
Yours forever,
Daddy, your hero
Glued to the back was a photo of him and me on one of our camping trips. We both had the biggest smiles on our faces; my rosy cheeks and toothless smile, and his strong jaw and proud grin. No only had Starry been to the moon with Don Fairman, I had too.
True forgiveness and understanding washed over me that day, and to this minute love is still floating through the skies, and stars are always there to remind me of my Daddy.
Stars- great, giant balls of fire. Could anything be more incredible? Millions of twinkling, sparkly stars were up there, waiting for me. They were my very own collection of ‘princess diamonds,’ or so I called them when I was 5. They’re all so beautiful, my Daddy would say. When looking at stars, he was just as amazed as I was. You are more beautiful than all of them, he would say to me, smiling. Tweaking my nose, my green eyes would grin back up at him. My Daddy was my hero.
Back when I was a little girl, Daddy used to take me on camping trips for my birthday. We would bring our sleeping bags, my teddy bear named Starry, and our brimming backpacks to the field across from our big yard. We would always sleep under the stars without a tent, which caused for some anxiety from Mom! So what if we could still see the house? My Dad was all mine for an evening, including the chocolate bars we’d sneak out of the pantry, and the full iced tea jug that would send us hopping back to the house at 2 am for a bathroom run. What more could a little girl want? Little did I know that what he would tell me on one of those ‘camping trips’ would unexpectedly change my life forever.
“Do you see that big white circle in the sky, right over there?” Daddy asked me, pointing, as I sat on his lap. I, feeling quite proud of myself for knowing the answer, replied,
“Of course Daddy; it’s the moon!”
“I’m going to go there Jill,” Dad said, looking down at me. That seemed a bit farfetched! I knew he was a scientist and astronaut, but the moon? I had only ever lived on this farm in rural Manitoba, with its big trees, flat, glowing wheat fields, and red combines. Going to the moon seemed impossible.
“How are you going to get there?” I asked him, still a bit skeptical.
“I’m going to go in a big rocket, and fly around and around,” and with that, he picked me up and twirled me around and around, rising and falling, my arms spread, shrieks of laughter echoing over the still prairies.
I settled back into his lap, a smile still on my face, but that slowly turned into a furrowed brow and slight frown.
“I want to come too!” I demanded, knowing what the obvious answer would be. Daddy looked away, unsure of how to handle my difficult request.
“Jillian, you can’t come with me, but I can take something up there for you; if you’d like.”
I seemed satisfied, and then leaned close to my teddy. Looking up after a moment, I replied,
“Starry says she wants to go with you Dad.”
He nodded and answered,
“I think that’s manageable. Starry it is!”
With that we said our prayers, snuggled into our cozy sleeping bags, and whispered ‘I love you!’ Daddy was once again my hero, and we fell asleep smiling up at the stars.
Daddy started his “moon classes” when school started in September. He would leave at 6 in the morning, but would always be home for supper. Baby Anna, Peter, and I, would wait at the big window in the front of our house, eager to see our blue Jeep pull into the long driveway. On nice days, (most days), we would take our bikes to the end of the gravel lane; wobbly me on my 2-wheeler, and Peter, being the oldest, with Anna in the wagon pulled behind his bike with the jump rope. Whooping and hollering when Dad came into view, Mom would know to hurry outside from making supper and join our side-of-the-road parade. We would race to get our spelling and reading done right after school so we could spend time altogether as a family; sometimes going on a walk, playing football, (Dad vs. all), or helping Mom make cookies. Some of these things would end up with Peter and me fighting, as he was the oldest and would never let me forget it! We were still buds though, and would enjoy chasing cows in the fields after supper, laughing until our sides hurt. To me, other than Peter sometimes, I had a perfect family. That would change all too soon.
Soon the big take-off day arrived. We knew that Day would be gone for 6 months, and were all a bit teary when we remembered, even Peter. I had just had my 8th birthday party a few days ago, and was glad that Dad could make it. I told Mom to make a star-shaped birthday cake, just for him! I think he liked it.
We had to go to a special ceremony for the astronauts and their families. I wore the new red dress I got, and was very lady-like the whole time. One by one, after a very long speech, each astronaut was called up to the front of the hall. They were mostly men, but by the end 2 women had been called up as well. Finally, “Don Fairman” was announced. Dad adjusted his checkered tie, and walked proudly to the front. Mom’s eyes were brimming with happy tears as Anna sat on her lap, sleeping. The speaker then turned to us.
“Here folks are your astronauts of 1999!”
Everyone rose to their feet and started clapping madly, and Peter and I cheered and shouted. From on stage, Dad winked at us, and took a little bow. Mom laughed, and we clapped even louder. The astronauts would leave in 12 days, and were supposed to get well rested for then.
After the presentation they each received a bronze plaque, and then we were all ushered to another room: the banquet hall. Mom and Dad were served chicken in a strange yellow sauce, with fish, potatoes, and steamed broccoli. I’m glad us kids got pizza and lemonade! We sat at tables near the dessert bar, sneaking dainties and cookies during the meal. We only got sternly looked upon twice! There were 5 other ‘astronaut kids,’ and we were all fast friends by the end of the hour. At about 2:00 everyone finally started heading home. Everyone was full and content, but still didn’t want Dad to leave.
The days ticked by, minute after minute, each second bringing us closer to take-off day. It was exciting yet terrible; you could feel it in the air. Mom had never been keen on men flying around the galaxies in a metal tube, or so she put it. Dad had obviously convinced her that it was safe before they were married, but she was still uneasy. So was I.
The day before they left came all too soon. I crawled into my quilted bed uneasy; even hugging all my stuffed animals at once didn’t help as it usually did. Turning off my Disney Princess lamp, I lay awake, staring up at my glow-in-the-dark stars taped to the ceiling. I tossed and turned, but still couldn’t close my eyes for long. It had been 2 hours since I’d turned off the light, and I was just about ready to burst! Slipping out of bed and into my slippers, I tiptoed across the dark hallway to Mom and Dad’s room. Dad would leave for the airport in the night, and I didn’t want to miss him. There I found Dad sitting on his window seat, looking out at the stars through an open window. I quietly joined him, and he put his arm around me as the gentle night breeze filled the quiet room. After a moment, he spoke.
“Can I tell you a secret Jill?” he asked me.
“Sure,” I eagerly replied.
“I’m scared,” he whispered, still staring out the window, tears glistening in his eyes. I got up on my knees and kissed him tenderly on the cheek. He sang softly to me until I fell asleep in his arms, and then carried me back to my bed. I was just as scared as he was.
The next day happened so fast. We all left early in the morning for the take-off pad by Toronto where Dad’s rocket would be launched. We drove to the airport without Dad, as he had taken a flight in the night to help the crew pack up, receive instructions, and be ready. I woke up only once on our flight, but when I woke up for good, we were in the big city. We got on long white buses, and as we drove closer and closer to the rocket I got more and more amazed, tense, and worried. The spaceship stretched high into the sky , as tall as the biggest building in Winnipeg! It really was big! Now I wasn’t so sure I wanted my Dad flying through space in this thing. News reporters and photographers were there, recording, snapping pictures, and filming the entire event. Dad was only allowed to stay with the other astronauts, to make sure his suit and everything else stayed flawless and in tip-top shape. Even though he couldn’t stand with us, we’d often find him staring or winking at us during the speech. Everyone waited in still anxiety for the big moment to happen. Once the speech was finished, each astronaut got their picture taken as they waved to everyone and entered the spaceship. When it was Dad’s turn, he waved Starry the teddy bear high in the air so everyone could see, and we clapped hysterically! He mouthed ‘I love you’ to us, then disappeared up the steps and into the shuttle of wonder, possibility, and the unknown.
Soon after that, we were cleared away from the pad and were grouped together a safe distance away from the shuttle. The prairie seemed calm; unaware of what would soon happen. The big clock in front of us counted down the seconds until take-off. My heart beat in time with the numbers flickering across the screen. I never took my eyes off the clock. Minutes ticked by, from 60, to 30, then 1. A low rumble seemed to groan from the centre of the Earth far away. This was it! The noise grew louder and more intense, like a wave crashing over cracked dry land. 5- The ground shook. 4- The reporters stood, ready. 3- My heart raced. 2-Time stood still. 1-To the moon. A huge fiery force burst from beneath the rocket like a bomb, pushing Dad closer to his destination. It spread out in an orange, hot cloud, billowing into the sky. The noise was like thunder, though only for a moment. The ship appeared to be moving slowly, but in reality it was racing at an incredible speed through the atmosphere. Never before had I witnessed anything like it; a feat defying all laws of gravity and common sense. My Dad was crazy, and I loved it! Soon the spaceship was too small to see, but we stayed; everyone stayed. It was the biggest thing we’d ever experienced, and we didn’t want to walk away from it sooner than we had to.
We were all ushered off to the buses that would take us to the hotel. Soon after, I, and I think a lot of other people, were still in a daze. Even the reporters, who had witnessed every scary and amazing event in the news could just stare in wonder. In the blink of an eye, the prairies were still once again, and we drove away looking back, Mom’s comforting hand squeezed tightly around mine.
The first few weeks after Dad’s spaceship was launched went by in a blur. The evenings were quieter, and there was one less place setting at the table, which was usually put on anyways because of habit. After a while, though, we got back into the swing of things.
Once or twice a week Daddy e-mailed us from outer space! We would read his letters out loud, and then would tell Mom what to write back. Occasionally, he would even send us a staticy phone call! It was good to hear his voice. Those e-mails and calls were the highlights of my week. Peter and I made a paper chain out of construction paper, counting down the weeks until Dad would come home. Sometimes when Mom was having a sad day, I would keep her company by bringing her all my pillows and stuffed animals to her bed and having a sleepover with her. Mom got used to his absence after a while, but was ever counting the days ‘til his return. I think it was the hardest on her than anyone else.
Dad’s e-mails became very consistent, after school on Tuesdays and Fridays. Peter and I would jump off the bus and clamber into the house, not stopping until we got to the computer in the kitchen. We would always beat Mom, as she had to pick up Anna from daycare and would only be home a couple minutes after us. But one Tuesday, when we came running inside, Mom was already there, tears streaked down her cheeks. It looked like she had been crying for hours. When she saw us she stood up quickly and pulled us close to her, and didn’t let go for a very long time. Peter and I looked at each other, and both had confused expressions on our faces. Mom had never acted this way before. She then sat down on the wooden chair and looked up at us, wringing out her hands.
“Dad won’t be coming home,” she whispered, choking back tears.
“He’s only coming back in 3 months Mom. You know that,” Peter said. Gathering up her courage, Mom quietly explained,
“He won’t be coming back at all. Their spaceship was damaged during the take-off, so they can’t get back into the atmosphere because it’s too hot. Dad’s OK for now, but he won’t make it back to Earth.”
Mom paused for a breath and to blow her nose on a ragged tissue.
“He’s going to call us tonight. That’s it.”
Everyone stood, numb, still. How could you even process something like that? I was 8, Peter 10, and Anna was 4. All I knew was, I had just lost my hero.
Mom told us to grab some snack, and that we’d be ordering take-out tonight. Peter ran to his room and slammed the door-hard. Anna hadn’t been in the kitchen for our conversation, but Mom was taking her on her lap and quietly explaining that Daddy would never tuck her in again. I stared at the computer screen, and read the horrible e-mail.
Dear Carolyne,
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had tell anyone, especially you. I guess I can’t beat around the bush with this sort of thing, so I’ll get right to the point. I won’t be coming home. Tears are drifting off my cheeks as I write it, but it’s true. The exterior of the ship cracked slightly as we took off, but that’s just enough to make entering out atmosphere unsafe and impossible. No matter what we do, the ship will incinerate when we enter it. I guess you were right about space ships; you’re always right! :) I love you Carolyne, beyond what you could ever imagine. I’ll call you tonight at 8:00 pm for our final goodbyes. Can I talk to the kids as well? They don’t deserve this, and neither do you. You are all so precious to me. We found out about a week ago,(about the ship), 2 days before we landed on the moon. The moon was great! You’d have loved it. They were examining the exterior when they discovered it. Covering or fixing it won’t make any different. But after lots of anger and prayer, I’ve began to accept it. I hope that in time, you will too.
I’m so sorry.
Your love, Don
By now tears were streaming down my hot, angry face.
This can’t be happening, I thought. It’s all a lie. I won’t believe this, I can’t! My Daddy has to come home! My mind screamed, not willing to accept what I’d just heard and read. I ran blindly upstairs to Mom and Dad’s room, and flung myself down on their bed. There I sobbed until Mom came and gently held me, where we cried together for some time until we calmed down to the point of just sniffles. Mom wiped my wet cheeks with her hands, and, summing up all the strength she could muster, said,
“Jill, we’re going to get through this,” although I could tell even that was a struggle. After giving me a silent squeeze, she left to order supper. I walked down the hall slowly, still in miserable realization that this wasn’t a joke. Peter came out of his room as I walked past. You could see he had been crying, but showed no resemblance on his expressionless face. This was actually happening to me.
After a quiet super of pizza and pop, we sat around the phone, waiting for Dad’s last call. At precisely 8 o’clock the phone rang. Mom picked it up. Husband and wife talked for almost 20 minutes, Mom crying off and on. However, when she passed the phone to Anna there was a look of peace on her reassuring face. Anna timidly said “Hi Daddy,” sensing that this was an important phone call. She giggled a couple of times, talking occasionally. Ending with “Bye Daddy, I love you,” she gave the phone to Peter. Dad talked to him about taking care of all of us, obeying Mom, and about life and growing up in general. This was the last heart to heart talk he would ever have with us. Peter smiled when the conversation was finished, then handed the phone to me. I was shaking.
“Hi Jill,” he said to me shyly.
“Hi Dad,” I said quietly.
“Jillian, I’m so sorry. I was looking forward to our next camping trip.”
“Me too.”
“I love you Jill, more than you know. I’m a middle child too, so I know how you feel sometimes. Don’t let Peter boss you around. Oh! And when you eat oatmeal raisin cookies, sneak an extra for me!”
I giggled, and he continued.
“I want you to follow your dreams Princess, and to dream big too! Talk to Jesus, and let him be your best friend! Keep looking at the stars; you can use my window seat if you’d like.”
“I will.”
“Obey Mom, and help look after Anna, and Peter too! Keep getting good grade in school, sweetie, so you can have lots of options when you grow up, but don’t forget to be a kid! You’re beautiful, and I love you!”
“Why can’t you come home, Daddy? I need you to come home,” I cried.
“I’m so sorry Jill! I would give anything to get back to you, you’ve got to believe that,” he said.
“You’re my hero Daddy,” I whispered. I heard him choke back a sob.
“You’re mine too, cutie.”
“I love you Dad.”
“I love you Jill.”
“Goodbye,” we said in unison.
The crackly line went dead, and Mom took the phone.
“You’d better get some rest, hon,” she said, wrapping me up in a big hug. I trudged upstairs to my room and climbed into bed without brushing my teeth or changing into my pajamas. I was exhausted, and right now just needed to sleep.
I woke up the next morning with tears on my cheeks. My clock said 10:36 am, and it was a Wednesday! I jumped out of bed and found Mom making eggs downstairs in the kitchen. It looked like she hadn’t gotten much sleep, but she still greeted me as cheerily as she could, asking me how I was. I said I was fine, even though that was an obvious lie. Peter and Anna came down a few minutes later, and we all ate our scrambled eggs, fruit, and yogurt in silence. I was glad we didn’t have to go to school today.
The rest of the day passed by uneventfully. We had mac ‘n cheese for lunch, watched T.V., and played halfheartedly. It was as if we were all in a trance. By 5:30 Mom started making supper as usual. Peter and Anna were watching Veggie Tales in the other room. Without thinking I tugged on my boots and ran outside, sprinted madly to the end of the driveway as it was almost 5:45. The big oak trees stood firmly on either side of the driveway. Nothing had changed except the one vital part of the picture. I skidded to a stop in the middle of the road and waited. I waited for Daddy to come home. I waited for my questions to be answered. I waited for the noise that would jar me out of this horrible dream. I waited silently, listening for the hum of our blue Jeep and Dad’s laughter, but it never came. So I cried. I kicked the hard gravel and threw the snow. There I stood until Mom came with a blanket and brought me inside. I wouldn’t be going to school tomorrow.
That night I sat on Dad’s window seat, gazing out at a brilliant sunset that melted away to reveal hundreds of pin pricks in the canvas of a sky. Though dark, the moon’s sliver of light glistened off of the snow. I had Dad’s favorite sweater wrapped around me, with his smell lingering around me in a calming familiarity. I knew that one day I would become an astronaut.
30 Years Later
“Miss Jillian Fairman, you may depart.” The words echoed in my space suit, bouncing off the sides of my helmet. This was it! I had been waiting for this moment since I was 8. I was about to experience thee wonder and mystery that not many people got to see. I had seen God’s great and amazing Earth and galaxies all at once. I was an astronaut. I took a deep breath and stepped off the ship. I felt as light as a feather as my white space boots touched down on the moon. Bouncing around on the uneven surface with a grin on my face, I heard a voice come through my headset again.
“How does it feel?”
“Amazing!” I answered.
“There’s a group of all the flags from previous ships about 100meters to your right. You can go look at them.”
Interested, I hopped along to the indicated spot. Earth sat still in the distance, and stars were closer than they’d ever been. Each flag was that of the country it had been launched from, and signed were the date and the ship’s name. I looked for ‘1999-Crater; Daddy’s ship. I was reading some names and looking at dates when something caught my eye. There was a teddy bear tied to the bottom of a flagpole?! Bending over, I gasped. It was light blue with tiny white stars covering her fur. Starry! I untied her as best I could with my bulky gloves, and gently picked her up. There was a slit cut into her back, with a folded piece of paper nestled in her cotton stuffing. I pulled it out and read the hand written letter.
Dear Jill,
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I could feel it in my bones that you’d become an astronaut! Sorry I couldn’t come home; I would’ve loved to be at your prom, walked you down the aisle, and hold my first grandchild. I love you Jill! Thank you for showing me how to be a true hero. We’ll meet again soon, right here in the sky. I love you my darling!
Yours forever,
Daddy, your hero
Glued to the back was a photo of him and me on one of our camping trips. We both had the biggest smiles on our faces; my rosy cheeks and toothless smile, and his strong jaw and proud grin. No only had Starry been to the moon with Don Fairman, I had too.
True forgiveness and understanding washed over me that day, and to this minute love is still floating through the skies, and stars are always there to remind me of my Daddy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
